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Changing Our Perception Of What Should Be

By:Jennifer Hoffman
Date: Tue,31 Dec 2013
Submitter:Jane
Views:9370

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Although I am happier, and have more joy and peace this holiday season than I have in a long time, it has been one of the most “un-holiday”, unusual holidays I can remember, where I feel the energy of the season and not much else. And for the first time in many years I am spending the holiday alone, without family or my children. I am not sad or lonely, quite the opposite, I am spending time with myself, to get clear and to be calm, rest, and relax.

It has been a stressful, difficult year for me, with significant health problems that are finally resolved and I need the rest. That said, I wasn’t really looking forward to Christmas because of the focus on materialism but it turned out to be the best one ever, although it was much different than I expected.

I had ‘expected’ to do the decorating and shopping that are normal for this time of year and none of that got done. I don’t even have a tree up this year, not even my cute little pink sparkly tree. I just didn’t think about getting it out. But I have been singing carols every day for the past two weeks and have been full of Christmas cheer, which I share with everyone I meet. It has been a great period for me although none of it is as it is supposed to be or what would be considered normal.

There can be so many expectations around Christmas that it can be the most difficult time of the year for many people, especially those who are alone, without family or friends. It can be a depressing, unhappy time for those who think that in order for it to be a ‘real’ Christmas they should be surrounded by people who love them, having fun and sharing gifts. That is, unfortunately, the photoshopped version of the holiday; most people do not spend it that way.

When we judge our lives based on what we think things ‘should be’ like we set ourselves up for failure and set in motion a host of beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that only serve to make us feel bad. The standard of what ‘should be’ is usually different from what happens in our lives, even though there cannot be a standard, a ‘one size fits all’ that everyone lives by. Then we struggle because we think that we aren’t normal and there is something wrong with our life. Can we be guided by what we want, clear in our intention and stop comparing ourselves to others, especially when we think they are happier or more well off than we are?

While we say we can do that, the real test happens on holidays like Christmas, that are supposed to be oriented around family, fun, comfort, love, and shared enjoyment. This puts all of our intentions to the test and sometimes, despite our best intentions, we let our emotions get the best of us. Are we ready to create our own standards instead of falling prey to the belief that something is wrong with us because things are not ‘as they should be’, according to what we have been told is normal?

But there is another level to what is happening around Christmas 2013 and that is the merging of 3D into 5D consciousness, which is why anything that is heavily oriented towards 3D consciousness, like the materialism associated with Christmas, is suddenly not appealing and you just can’t get into it.

But, the other side of Christmas, which has to do with peace, joy, love, and connection, feels very good. In fact, even if you are not in the ‘Christmas spirit’ you may be feeling the joy even if you didn’t put up a Christmas tree this year (look at the bright side, if you didn’t get all of the decorations out, you don’t have to put them away). This is the new normal and it heralds some of what we can expect in 2014, which is going to challenge our beliefs about what things are ‘supposed to be like’ and ask us to create our own version of joy, peace, abundance, love and shared good.

We all have a feeling that something is happening, even if we aren’t sure what it is or when it is arriving. We are all aware of the sense of anticipation, the knowing that something new is just around the corner. It is all happening now but to know it we must be in the moment, not worried about whether we are too late, too early, not doing it right, or not lucky enough to be part of it.

There is no standard and we can’t get it wrong, as long as we trust in our own process, have faith and know that what is right for us always happens for us in the right and best way. Remember that divine timing is always at work in everything, and patience is required in these situations, only because everything has to be aligned now so let it all line up and enjoy whatever unfolds for you without wondering whether it is supposed to be that way or you’re doing it wrong, or everyone else has it right or better than you do.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays and I thank you for being a light on my path and thank you for allowing me to share my light on your journey.

Copyright (c) 2013 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, translate, reprint or refer to this message if you mention the author name and include a working link to http://enlighteninglife.com
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Zuzanna said:

Thank you for this article Jennifer! I've read it after Christmas and must say... yes, I spend much of this time with my family, which gave me this depressing feeling that I'm not good enough, because what I do is not like itsupposed to be, because I should be thinking about money and status, while I'm actually thinking about my passion, whoch doesn't give me much money (yet ;) ) But who cares that I try do what I love - it's not the way "it supposed to be". It was a little bit painfull, but now, thanks to that experience I know what is true for me and it's more clear to me what life I DON'T want to live :)
Much love, Zuzanna
Tue,07 Jan 2014,12:19:42 GMT

Dawn lewis said:

So agree with all you say. Felt just as you did a wonderful stress free day. Free of all pressure lovely walk nice meal and the greatest gift of all joy inside myself
Sun,05 Jan 2014,12:48:44 GMT

Maggie said:

Beautifully written. I was trying to say something similar to someone today but got my explanation muddled! Feel a weight has been lifted from me. Thank you.
Tue,31 Dec 2013,21:33:47 GMT
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