How can a person deliberately hurt another person? How is it that we agree to play certain roles in the lives of others?
It is commonly spoken that people feel as if they are puppets on a puppet stage being played by a higher being. This image is simply a metaphor to help you conceive of how your higher selves, in partnership with God, angels, spirit guides and others, arrange your human interactions for your highest good. If you imagine that human life is a stage upon which each of you is playing various roles that are agreed upon by your higher selves, then you can imagine that each of you has a string extending from you upward where another part of you, the bigger part of you, is helping to direct where you go, what you do, who you meet and how you feel about it.
While it may be an accurate model to say that you are like puppets connected by an energetic string to something higher, it is absolutely inaccurate to imagine that you are connected to, guided by or influenced by anything or anyone other than your higher selves. For those of you who believe in God and other benevolent overseers of human life, know that your higher self operates in partnership or even as an extension of your higher self. Every human being is guided by her or his higher self. Everything that happens in your lives happens through the agreement and direction of your higher self.
This higher self is simply you extended. It is you with all of your memories; everything you have ever experienced in the entire universe is completely available to you in the form of your higher self. Every intention and every piece of knowing about what may happen to you in the future is available to your higher self. It is a part of you already. Your entire Akashic Records are completely available and embodied in your higher self. The way that you interplay with others is this -- that higher self of yours is constantly in touch with the higher selves of others. At any given moment in time, your higher self is fully aware of how you feel, of what you yearn for and of what you still lack or still need to learn. That higher self then reaches out to all the loving beings in your spirit community, which are the higher selves of other human beings as well as spirit beings, and negotiates or decides with them how you can best serve one another here on the human stage. You higher self, who always has your best interest in mind, who has complete understanding for your suffering, for your longing, for your flaws and your failings, as well as an understanding of your strengths and your gifts -- this higher self, through complete love, sets in motion potentials for how you might interact with others. If it will serve you to play the role of the bad guy by making a mistake, by lashing out in anger, doing something you regret, then your higher self has found someone who stands to benefit from experiencing you through that mistake. This is not to say you are free to make all the mistakes you want or that you are free to lash out in anger even when you know better. For your human self, it is still here to make choices based on free will and accountability. Those choices make a difference in who you become. Your choices, the choices that you make as an accountable person on the human stage, they give your higher self the material to direct you further.
If you intentionally make mistakes, continually doings things that are out of alignment with what you know to be true for you, then the material you are giving your higher self only offers more mistakes, more pain, more misalignment; whereas if you continually strive to bring yourself into alignment, you create an atmosphere where it is far easier for your higher self to lead you forward to what you truly yearn for -- to lead you forward to what you really need in your life. A way you can think of this is you are laying railroad tracks as you go. If you are continually laying them out of alignment with each other, acting inconsistently, acting out of integrity what you believe to be true and right, if you are acting out of alignment with your feelings of love and your truest expression of love, then it is your higher self that must deal with these misaligned tracks. It takes more negotiation, complication and complexity to get you where you need to be than it does if you are mindfully making decisions that bring you into alignment -- that lay a track that is in alignment with itself and the world around you. When you actively pursue what is in alignment with your intuition and what you know to be right for you, it is as if you are greasing the wheels -- you are laying a straight and easy track for your higher self to negotiate the most clearly beneficial experiences for you to come to.
When you encounter a person who seems to make your life harder and when you realize that you intentionally or unintentionally have made life harder for another, this is an opportunity to first and foremost forgive yourselves, for each of you will make mistakes over and over again. Forgiveness is the thing that will allow all of you to get what you need from the mistake and move forward and away from the mistake. First and foremost, forgive yourself and forgive the other. It is worth taking time to do this, for we know that is not simple. Second, it is to come to a place of reflection free of judgment. Reflect upon what you have gained, what you have learned, how you have benefited from the situation. Often this step occurs long after the event. Often this occurs through reflection when you can see how that effect at the time felt so difficult or felt so wrong for you eventually led you right where you needed to be.
This is the way you are living with puppet strings, so to speak. This is the way you are led to hurt one another, learn from it, and move forward. If you are doing it deliberately, you are simply making your life harder, you are simply laying your tracks out of alignment and you are making your connection with your higher self more difficult. If you hurt one another accidentally, it is just a lesson to learn. The lesson is always solved through taking accountability for the role you have played, then actively making the choice to play the roles that are in alignment with your best self and your highest path as you can conceive it.
Why does it seem that people need to have some kind of tragedy in order to have a spiritual or soul awakening?
While it is not necessary for you to have a tragic experience for spiritual awakening, tragic experiences often bring you to this awakening based on the human tendency to form habits. Human beings are born awake. Every single one of you is born awake, alive and completely aware of your connection with Spirit. There is no exception to this rule. Every single human being is born knowing and feeling in every cell that you are connected with Spirit. You are fully awake in a spiritual sense. Also without exception, every human being gets hurt and as every human being gets hurt, you begin to lose tiny parts of yourselves. In order to protect your heart, in order to protect your body and your spirit, you close down parts of your selves.
There are many different frameworks to describe how this works.
Neuroscientists talk about this as closing off neuro-pathways or limiting neuro-pathways. Some religions teach that you have some sort of fall from grace or you separate yourself from God. Psychologists would say that the flexible, problem solving thinking that you are born with gets limited as you encounter difficulties and feel as if you do not have support to engage your full thinking to solve them. A common metaphor is the one when people say that your minds are like the tip of an iceberg - that you only use about 10% of your mind's capacity. All the rest of that percent of your mind's capacity is there and accessible to you, but because life is difficult, and at times it appears that you are all alone, you become convinced that you do not have the resources to engage a problem with your full capacity, and that makes it harder to think things through. Each of you, in your own ways, have experienced a moment in which you have felt so much anger or so much fear that you cannot think straight. Some people say they feel as if their mind goes blank in certain moments. This is what happens in trauma.
The human brain is created to protect you from trauma by closing down. The extreme version of this occurs when a trauma survivor goes into shock, but minor versions of the same function occur often in daily life. When you experience the small traumas of life, and some of the bigger traumas that happen for some people in childhood, parts of your minds close down. Without a profound healing experience and a great deal of patience and support from the people around you, that part of you never really gets a chance to fully reawaken. The thing that often happens in adulthood is that adults tend to walk around with parts of themselves closed off, as if parts of themselves are frozen or fragmented, and they assume this is normal. Some of those parts of yourselves that went into shock to help you survive difficulty may not have recovered completely; this limits your ability to think clearly. It limits your ability to come up with creative solutions to problems and it limits your ability to see the good in others or to open your hearts despite the risk of pain.
All of you have these limitations to some extent. Each of you has learned to live with these limitations and you have choreographed your lives around them. You see limitation in yourselves and in others as normal parts of personalities or normal expectations of human life. But for many of you, living with part of yourselves frozen is no longer acceptable and you have chosen to reawaken in one way or another. One of the most efficient ways to reawaken and reintegrate your full human potential is to address the tragedy and all of that mental, psychological and emotional scar tissue that exists where you were never able to really heal, is by experiencing a new event that touches those parts of your minds.
A tragic event, an event that brings you enormous emotions or causes you to question what you have always assumed, is a very efficient way for you to break apart and begin to heal the scar tissue and the frozen layers that have provided limitation for you before. It is vitally important that you understand that there is no blame in any of this description. It is not your fault you were hurt as children; it is not your fault that you closed yourselves off and it is not your fault that you encountered tragedy later on. While your higher self agrees to these experiences, at a human level you are all innocent and good. All of this occurs according to your own unique, divine plan. Each of you through the cooperation of your higher selves, your spirit guides and all of the divine benevolent beings in the universe are continually renegotiating and rewriting that plan based on the choices that you make as a human being. Encountering tragedy can be an efficient way to melt away the frozen limitations in your psyche and spirit, but only if you engage tragedy with a willingness to forgive yourself and others for the roles you play in the human drama.
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